Sophie Giraffe...

... is toast.

But lets start from the beginning. What the hell is Sophie Giraffe?
Apparently, it is THE toy of the year. ALL of the best mommies are buying it for their kids, and I'm not one to get left out. So I bought the damn thing. These are just some of the product claims:

"Sophie the Giraffe, full of discoveries and activities to awaken baby's senses. Sight: The dark and contrasting spots all over Sophie the Giraffe's body provide visual stimulation and make her easily recognizable to baby. She soon becomes a familiar and reassuring object. Hearing: Her squeaker keeps baby amused, stimulates his hearings, and helps him to understand the link between cause and effect. Taste: Sophie the Giraffe is very flexible and has lots of parts for baby to chew like ears, horns, legs..."
It goes on and on for another four paragraphs or so. Sophie is made from 100% rubber. She's BPA free. She's painted with FOOD paint (huh??).

But the truth of the matter is, she's a dog's chew toy.

Yeah, one of those $1.99 toys you buy at Petsmart for a dog to chew on. Except she's got all the fancy description. And she's over 20 bucks.

And... Karey doesn't even appreciate all of the reviews that say that children LOVE this toy. Because she doesn't.
She clearly demonstrated it to us this weekend. I put Sophie in her carrier when we went for ice cream. When we got in line, I noticed Sophie was missing.

"Huh," I said to Mark. "She must have fallen out in the car."

He just shrugged. Clearly he doesn't understand that this toy is the be all and end all of infant toys.
But Sophie wasn't in the car. We found her as we walked back to the car. In the road. Flattened.
Yes, she had been run over. Her 100% natural rubber body now has black tire marks across it. And her annoying... I mean "stimulating" squeaker is busted.

Clearly, Karey does not buy into the hype about Sophie.